This Day

Our church had a Women's conference last weekend. Jen Hatmaker was the speaker and she had an amazing message. I was sitting in the pew at the very end of the two day conference, trying to sort out all the thoughts ping-ponging in my head, trying to slow the beating heart in my chest, when everything God had been speaking to me this past month all came together at once with such clarity through the words of this beautiful and simple song.

“This Day”

This day is fragile- soon it will end

And once it has vanished, it will not come again.

So let us love with a love pure and strong

Before this day is gone.

This day is fleeting- when it slips away,

Not all our money can buy back this day

So let us pray that we might be a friend

Before this day is spent.

This day we’re given is golden.

Let us show love.

This day is ours for one moment.

Let us sow love.

This day is fragile- it will pass by.

So before it’s too late to recapture the time,

Let us share love. Let us share God.

Before this day is gone.

I tried to remember where I had heard this song before. It was strangely familiar, but I knew I had not heard it in a very long time. By the end of the first verse, I realized why this song felt like an old friend to me. It was because I had chosen it to be sung at our wedding, almost ten years ago. I can still remember standing in the back of the church, arm in arm with my dad, listening to the words of this song, anxiously awaiting a momentous change in my life.

I have to add a side note here, and explain that I was the type of bride that put way too much thought into every single aspect of this day, the kind of girl that had to have it absolutely perfect. I really and truly believed I would remember all these details for the rest of my life. Sadly, I can see now that nothing else really mattered except the commitment I made to a man in front of God, my family and friends. The love God brought between us is pretty much the only thing that has lasted these past ten years.

When I had to pick the music that would be sung at our wedding, I made it a complicated affair. It took me weeks to decide which songs should be a part of our wedding ceremony. But, just like it was yesterday, I remember why I picked this song. It was simple. It was pretty. It spoke about loving God and loving others. That is what I wanted this new life with my husband to be about.

Ten years later, having endured our share of heartache and joy, I heard this song with new ears. But the message God had for me was the same. “ Love each other. Share Me with others.” I think it was way more than coincidence that this was the closing song for this conference. I believe that through the words of this simple song, God showed me a quick glimpse of His plan for the next ten years of our marriage. And it is as simple as, “Follow Me.”

I don’t think the details really matter. He has a plan that is far beyond our understanding. Isaiah 55:8 says, “My thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways.” God has taken me here often in the past few years. If on my wedding day, standing arm in arm with my dad in the back of the church, God had revealed everything His plan for me involved, I have no doubt that I would have hiked up that dress and taken off running! My Plan for my life would have omitted all the loss, the pain, the waiting. But I would have missed out on unspeakable joy! The kind that comes when you are faced with a mountain that seems impossible to climb. It's only when I come to the very end of myself that I cling to Him and all His plan offers. His plan is so much better than anything I could ever dream up.

It is truly amazing to me how God chooses to walk beside us every step of our messy, messy lives. And every now and then, when our hearts are open and our eyes are fixed on heaven, He lets us in on His dreams for us. He wants nothing but the best for us. But more than anything He wants our hearts.

As I think about the words to this song and the simple message they carry, my heart so desperately wants the next ten years, and whatever they may include, to count for something.... to matter... to be about His plan not mine. So today I think I’ll take My Plan Book, the one I’ve worked so hard to perfect, and I’ll pitch it out the window. God’s plan is far greater, and I find peace in that.

“We don’t do that.”

I am so glad that there is no hidden camera in my house, capturing all of the words that spew out of my mouth on a daily basis. I realized at 7:45 this morning that in addition to, “No,” the phrase that leaves my lips at least 50 times a day is, “We don’t do that.”

"We don’t play under the kitchen table."

"We don’t hide in the pantry."

"We don't shake the blinds like a tambourine."

"We don’t throw our toys in the bathtub."

"We don't rip all the toilet paper off the roll."

"We don’t stand up in the rocking chair."

"We don't take knives out of the dishwasher."

"We don't lick the fridge..... or the grocery cart."

"We don’t pull our sister’s hair."

"We don’t hit our brother in the head."

"We don’t push each other off the rocking horse or out of the wagon."

"We don't stick our fingers in outlets."

"We don’t throw food when we’re in our highchairs."

"We don’t bang on our sister’s door while she’s sleeping."

"We don’t steal the toothpaste out of Mamma’s bathroom drawer."

"We don’t pull every shoe she owns off of her shelf."

"We don’t throw tantrums in the grocery store."

When I look into the eyes of my children, I’m not going to lie. Sometimes the look they shoot right back at me is one that says, “Uh, Mom…. Apparently, we do.”

Happy Halloween!

This Halloween was a whole lot different than last year! For Jake and Lilly it still isn't so much about the costumes, but more about all the fun things they did while wearing their costumes! Houston Oaks had a "Spooktacular" event on Sunday afternoon, and the Bubble Zone, an automatic bubble machine, immediately became a magnet for these two.

Jake was a fireman this year... and a handsome one I might add!

Lilly was a fairy, even though she ditched the wings after about 5 minutes!!

On Monday, we went on a hay ride through our neighborhood, making stops to hop off and trick-or-treat. I wasn't sure how much Jake and Lilly would get out of it at this young age, but to my surprise, they caught on very quickly! Watching the other kids take a piece of candy out of the bowl or hold up their treat pail to receive a piece was all they needed to quickly learn how trick-or-treating is done! I have to also add that they had their very first piece of candy today... a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup. Jake spit his bite out (no surprise there) and Lilly quickly gobbled hers up!

Two Little Pumpkins

This weekend we took Jake and Lilly to Dewberry Farm. The weather was perfect… the kind of crisp and cool, blue-sky day that you wait all summer for, and when it finally arrives you can’t get enough of it. I love days like those because I can always picture God saying with a smile, “I made this day just for you. Enjoy!” Well, enjoy it we did! Both kids had a blast roaming through the pumpkin patch with their cousins, petting and feeding the farm animals, riding on ponies and just taking in the beautiful weather.

Slobbery kisses from the goats

Real ponies on this carrousel

Jake had a death grip on his cracker. I guess he was worried the pony might nibble it!

Lilly would have been content to stay on this horsie all day!

But then she met a pig!
She gave this pig an earful, but none of us could understand what she was saying!

As I watched my two kids running through the maze of pumpkins with such a look of joy on their faces, I remembered a story that I rediscovered this week. I have had this story in my possession for a while now. A dear friend of mine shared it with me a few years ago, and I was so touched by its simplicity and its truth, I printed it and tucked it away in a safe place. This week it emerged from my desk drawer where apparently I had stuffed one too many “important papers.” As I was trying to reach for a pen in the very back of the drawer, this rumpled piece of paper slipped out and landed by my feet. As soon as I read the title I remembered the story and smiled. It seemed like such an appropriate story to include in this post about “my two little pumpkins.”

Pumpkins Grow On Trees

An old poem tells the story of a woman who was walking through a meadow one day. As she strolled along meditating on nature, she came upon a field of golden pumpkins. In the corner of the field stood a majestic oak tree.

The woman sat under the oak tree and began musing about the strange twists in nature. Tiny acorns hung on huge branches and huge pumpkins sat on tiny vines. She thought, “God blundered with creation! He should have put the small acorns on the tiny vines and the large pumpkins on the huge branches.”

Before long, the warmth of the autumn sunshine lulled the woman to sleep. She was soon awakened, however, by a tiny acorn bouncing off her nose. Chuckling to herself, she amended her previous thinking. Maybe God was right after all!

In every situation, God knows far more about the people and circumstances involved than we can ever know. He alone sees the beginning from the ending. He alone knows how to create a Master Plan that provides for the good of all those who serve Him. Today, trust in Him and His plan. It may seem backwards, but He always does what is best.

Scrolling through the numerous pictures that we captured on our camera while at the pumpkin patch, I realized that God has given me two very tangible reminders of His faithfulness.

Divide and Conquer

“Why am I so exhausted?” This is a question I’ve asked myself at least a dozen times this week. The past few days I’ve seriously considered propping my eyes open with toothpicks around 8:30 pm, determined to stay awake until at least 10:00, because it is my only quiet time all day long. To waste it with sleep seems like a major offense.

When Jake and Lilly, now 15 months old, began walking this summer, I was elated! When they learned how to independently climb up the stairs and then slide down on their tummies, I was ecstatic! I remember telling friends and family, “My life is so much easier now that they can both walk!” Well, as I’ve learned with most stages, this one is quickly losing its luster. They have learned how to use this skill against me, making me run after them as they dart off in opposite directions. Both have no problem going up and down the stairs to play or to eat, but mention the word “nap,” and they suddenly forget everything!

Which leads me to why I am so pooped on a regular basis…. The Divide and Conquer scheme. It sounds like something that we as parents should be implementing… Divide the work, the chores, the tasks, the responsibilities that come attached to having two little people dwell alongside you in your house (that used to be clean and tidy, but we won’t go there.); Conquer the trivial battles that arise throughout the day. Sounds nice, but, no, I am referring to a plot designed by two tiny people who can barely form words, yet seem to be able to communicate quite clearly with each other.

The Divide and Conquer scheme was played out in front of me this morning around 8:00. Its simple two step procedure works like this:

Jake, on tip-toes, reaches and grabs the handle on the door leading to the garage, and swings the door wide open. Poking his head out into the dark garage, he gives himself away by the trail of “Uh-oh”s that leave his mouth. I rush over to close the door, but notice that Lilly has ventured out into the land of lawn mowers, tools, and trash cans. Realizing that Jake’s “Uh-oh”s were not intended to be self incriminating but used as a means to tattle tale on his sister (and ultimately to get me out the door after her), I quickly grab Lilly and head back inside, locking the door behind me. A sense of satisfaction comes over me as I pat myself on the back, pleased with my vigilant parenting first thing in the morning. This feeling quickly escapes me as I walk into the kitchen where Jake has had just enough time to take out the safety plug on the outlet on the side of the island. (Don’t ask me how he figured that one out, because even I have a hard time pulling out those pesky plugs.) I catch him right before his two little fingers make contact with the holes of the outlet. (Why are these so tempting for a toddler? Really!) As I finish removing Jake from the kitchen and doing a quick check for other plugs to be sure they are not exposed, I look up to find Lilly slowly plucking leaves off the tree near the kitchen window. One by one she yanks them and tosses them on the floor, grinning at me with a sly smile that says, “Gotcha, Mom!”

I guess I should be commending them both on this brilliant plan, even though I am clearly the one who got scammed. It scares me to no end that my children have already figured out that Mommy can’t be everywhere at once. I should have seen it coming, should have noticed the mischievous glances they exchanged this morning while eating breakfast in their highchairs. Who knows how long they’ve been plotting against me and why today seemed to be the perfect day to carry out their plan. As I poured myself another cup of coffee, I wondered if this had anything to do with the question I can’t seem to answer lately.