The Little Red Wagon

In our house, the little red wagon is the barometer for how our day will go. Let me explain this phenomenon:

Some days Lilly and Jake can’t even get past who will sit in the wagon and who will pull it. They both love to be the rider, and Jake only likes to pull if the wagon does not carry his sister. (I guess he figures he can pull an empty wagon faster than one with cargo.) Ten seconds into the debate, which is way more physical than verbal at this point, both are crying and no one is in the wagon.

Then, the poor little red wagon ends up locked in the hall bathroom for the remainder of the day. One day Cody came home from work and opened the door to use the restroom. He almost broke his neck on all the toys piled up in there. That hadn’t been such a good day!

But some days, like today, they take turns with no pushing, crying, or banging the handle of the wagon on the other one's head. Then I know, it’s going to be a good day!

Buttons, Gadgets, and Such

My little Jake is destined to be a technology nerd like his Daddy. Forget the typical toddler toys like dump trucks, blocks, Legos, and puzzles. He’d rather mash the buttons on our baby monitor. Give him an i-phone and he’ll have all your apps rearranged and perhaps make an international phone call. One time he got a hold of the TV remote. I am still unsure of what buttons he pushed, but I had to call Cody at work to get the TV functioning normally again. My mother-in-law tells me that Cody was just like this when he was a kid. Now he is the family's official tech-support help line.

Last week I ran the dishwasher five times and could not understand why the soap dispenser would not open. My dishes were wet, but the spaghetti casserole from the night before was still crusted to all the plates. So, I just kept running it. It would beep, alerting me that the cycle had ended, after only 30 minutes. Weird, I thought.

When Cody came home that evening, I told him about the dishwasher dilemma. I seriously thought we needed to call a repair man. I was frustrated. The dishwasher is maybe three years old. Less than 30 seconds into my rant about how everything in this house is falling apart and appliances these days just don't last, he figured out the problem. Jake (and I say that with 100% certainty because Lilly just doesn't care about these things) had changed the cycle to “Rinse Only.” Now why didn’t I think of that?

This Day

Our church had a Women's conference last weekend. Jen Hatmaker was the speaker and she had an amazing message. I was sitting in the pew at the very end of the two day conference, trying to sort out all the thoughts ping-ponging in my head, trying to slow the beating heart in my chest, when everything God had been speaking to me this past month all came together at once with such clarity through the words of this beautiful and simple song.

“This Day”

This day is fragile- soon it will end

And once it has vanished, it will not come again.

So let us love with a love pure and strong

Before this day is gone.

This day is fleeting- when it slips away,

Not all our money can buy back this day

So let us pray that we might be a friend

Before this day is spent.

This day we’re given is golden.

Let us show love.

This day is ours for one moment.

Let us sow love.

This day is fragile- it will pass by.

So before it’s too late to recapture the time,

Let us share love. Let us share God.

Before this day is gone.

I tried to remember where I had heard this song before. It was strangely familiar, but I knew I had not heard it in a very long time. By the end of the first verse, I realized why this song felt like an old friend to me. It was because I had chosen it to be sung at our wedding, almost ten years ago. I can still remember standing in the back of the church, arm in arm with my dad, listening to the words of this song, anxiously awaiting a momentous change in my life.

I have to add a side note here, and explain that I was the type of bride that put way too much thought into every single aspect of this day, the kind of girl that had to have it absolutely perfect. I really and truly believed I would remember all these details for the rest of my life. Sadly, I can see now that nothing else really mattered except the commitment I made to a man in front of God, my family and friends. The love God brought between us is pretty much the only thing that has lasted these past ten years.

When I had to pick the music that would be sung at our wedding, I made it a complicated affair. It took me weeks to decide which songs should be a part of our wedding ceremony. But, just like it was yesterday, I remember why I picked this song. It was simple. It was pretty. It spoke about loving God and loving others. That is what I wanted this new life with my husband to be about.

Ten years later, having endured our share of heartache and joy, I heard this song with new ears. But the message God had for me was the same. “ Love each other. Share Me with others.” I think it was way more than coincidence that this was the closing song for this conference. I believe that through the words of this simple song, God showed me a quick glimpse of His plan for the next ten years of our marriage. And it is as simple as, “Follow Me.”

I don’t think the details really matter. He has a plan that is far beyond our understanding. Isaiah 55:8 says, “My thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways.” God has taken me here often in the past few years. If on my wedding day, standing arm in arm with my dad in the back of the church, God had revealed everything His plan for me involved, I have no doubt that I would have hiked up that dress and taken off running! My Plan for my life would have omitted all the loss, the pain, the waiting. But I would have missed out on unspeakable joy! The kind that comes when you are faced with a mountain that seems impossible to climb. It's only when I come to the very end of myself that I cling to Him and all His plan offers. His plan is so much better than anything I could ever dream up.

It is truly amazing to me how God chooses to walk beside us every step of our messy, messy lives. And every now and then, when our hearts are open and our eyes are fixed on heaven, He lets us in on His dreams for us. He wants nothing but the best for us. But more than anything He wants our hearts.

As I think about the words to this song and the simple message they carry, my heart so desperately wants the next ten years, and whatever they may include, to count for something.... to matter... to be about His plan not mine. So today I think I’ll take My Plan Book, the one I’ve worked so hard to perfect, and I’ll pitch it out the window. God’s plan is far greater, and I find peace in that.

“We don’t do that.”

I am so glad that there is no hidden camera in my house, capturing all of the words that spew out of my mouth on a daily basis. I realized at 7:45 this morning that in addition to, “No,” the phrase that leaves my lips at least 50 times a day is, “We don’t do that.”

"We don’t play under the kitchen table."

"We don’t hide in the pantry."

"We don't shake the blinds like a tambourine."

"We don’t throw our toys in the bathtub."

"We don't rip all the toilet paper off the roll."

"We don’t stand up in the rocking chair."

"We don't take knives out of the dishwasher."

"We don't lick the fridge..... or the grocery cart."

"We don’t pull our sister’s hair."

"We don’t hit our brother in the head."

"We don’t push each other off the rocking horse or out of the wagon."

"We don't stick our fingers in outlets."

"We don’t throw food when we’re in our highchairs."

"We don’t bang on our sister’s door while she’s sleeping."

"We don’t steal the toothpaste out of Mamma’s bathroom drawer."

"We don’t pull every shoe she owns off of her shelf."

"We don’t throw tantrums in the grocery store."

When I look into the eyes of my children, I’m not going to lie. Sometimes the look they shoot right back at me is one that says, “Uh, Mom…. Apparently, we do.”