The Only Cure for Restlessness

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.” Isaiah 30:15

We walked briskly to the stable as early morning sunlight peeked through the trees. The thick August humidity had been ushered out by an unexpected storm, and the sky was a crisp blue. A small group of us gathered in front of the barn. It was our last day at Family Camp, and God had been softly whispering to my tired heart all week long. Years had passed since I’d ridden a horse, but I felt excitement rather than fear rise up within me, a sign I was ready to embrace whatever God had planned for me out on that trail.

Swanee, the head wrangler at Pine Cove, paired me with the tallest, strongest horse. I took note of his monstrous feet as I hoisted myself up into the saddle. Moon Pie obviously got his name from his smooth chocolate coat. I would have never pegged him as a gentle horse, not for all the strength I could see he possessed. 

As we rode across the field, between trees with sagging branches and down rocky paths, I was overcome by the reality that this horse trusted me. He was completely at rest, every ounce of his strength in total submission. Words from the book of Isaiah- God’s words to a people bent on running away- churned in my mind that morning. Somewhere out on that trail with my new friend, Moon Pie, God’s whisper met my restlessness with this:

There is no rest without trust.

All four gospels record Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem on the day we now call Palm Sunday. Jesus didn’t come as most expected. He rode an unbroken colt through a noisy crowd of people waving palm branches everywhere. Hardly ideal for a first time ride. (see Matthew 21:2, Mark 11:2 & Luke 19:37-38) He could have picked a fast stallion, but Jesus never rushes, and He doesn’t rush me either. He is patient to earn my trust. He allows my will to run wild, but He knows how to handle my heart. Jesus isn’t interested in using force, nor is control His tactic. His gentleness compels me to drop my guard and trust.

Five days after His humble entry into Jerusalem, Jesus hung on a cross and finished what He came to do. John’s gospel tells us that those closest to Jesus were at first confused. (see John 12:16) They didn’t understand why Jesus didn’t take the city by storm, ride in on a war-horse, overturn injustice and make everything right. They didn’t realize that this was God's way of making all things right. This king cared more about relationship than He did appearance or fame. This king was from a whole different kingdom, and He trusted His Father who sent Him. Jesus rested in God’s love, the same love that raised Him from the grave three days later.

                                                                                                                               

“Who are you?” they asked.

“Just what I have been telling you from the beginning,” Jesus replied. “I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is trustworthy, and what I have heard from him I tell the world.” John 8:25-26

God is worthy of my trust.

Who else offers love regardless of the condition of my heart? Who fully sees me, fully knows me, and fully understands me better than He who made me? Who else is both willing and able to bind my wounds? Who weeps when I’m hurt and remains close enough to catch my tears?  Who else gave His life for me? As if all that were not enough, words recorded centuries ago reveal promises He’s kept, promises we can all rest in.

I will defend you.  (Jeremiah 50:34)

I will never leave you.  (Deuteronomy 31:6)

I will not reject you.  (Psalm 94:14)

I will protect you.  (2 Thessalonians 3:3)

I will heal you and set you free.  (Isaiah 61:1)

I will rename you.  (Isaiah 62:2 and Revelation 2:17)

I will carry out my plan for you.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

I will return for you and bring you home.  (Revelation 22:20)

Trust is the only way to bridge the gap between “I will” and “you.” If rest involves trust, then rest must be about relationship. Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  As we trust Jesus to capture our wild hearts, insecurity is ushered out and a quiet rest settles inside us instead. Our impulse to run is slowly replaced by a desire to cling.

Rest isn’t something we learn to do; it's Someone we learn to trust.

May we search long and hard and deep, knowing we will always find Him faithful and trustworthy and true. May we recognize that living in relationship with a gentle Savior is the only cure for our restless hearts.

Because Jesus loves you,

Kelly

The Beautiful Ordinary

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

She leans over her windowsill and carefully counts twelve new blooms as I braid her long, blond hair. Deep purple petals spread out from the tiniest yellow centers. Every morning, she sings over them. The song varies day to day, but it’s usually one she’s made up on her own. I tell her that her voice will help her plant grow. I’m not even sure if that’s true, but my mom told me something similar, and it’s stuck with me ever since. It seems like something worth passing on. When I was her age I had an African violet, too. I lived in Africa, so I mistakenly assumed they were indigenous. I had no idea this common plant was so ordinary.  All I could see was beauty in this thing I nurtured. I was a quiet girl, so I often wonder if my mom’s suggestion to speak to my plant was a disguised effort to coax my voice out of hiding. My mom taught me much more than how to care for a plant; she taught me to embrace the beautiful ordinary by watching God move in the small moments of life.

Tucked away inside the smallest, most ordinary occurrence is a beautiful God making Himself known.

I'm honored to be guest over at BeYOUtiful Mom today. I'd love for you to join me and read more.

Beauty Redefined

Beauty has been hijacked, but our Creator is reclaiming His definition of beauty. I'm honored to be a guest today over at beYOUtiful Mom.com. My friend, Misty, invites us all to be blessed, encouraged and uplifted. She offers a place where we can stand out, in view of the fact that the Lord made us each unique... and beautiful! Join me as I share what God is teaching me about beauty, then be sure to check out the rest of Misty's blog.

Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. Jude 1:21

Love is changing my definition of beauty altogether. Delicately crafted in God’s image, our hearts were created to display beauty. Over the years, I’ve covered up my heart in the name of what I used to think was beautiful. Words scripted by my own hand were adhered to my heart with lies that spoke of doing more, knowing more, serving more, being more.

What I thought was beautiful in God’s sight turned out to be nothing but a hardened heart.

Altered and imprisoned, my heart was dead. Buried underneath all my failed attempts to make myself beautiful was the truth about how God sees me. Jesus has lovingly scraped off all the layers, peeled off each and every message I placed there. With Him, the damage is never permanent. My delicate, fragile heart is being remade as His continuous flow of love washes over me. It is growing in beauty as my Creator works to restore what’s been lost.

Keep reading...

Finding Something I Never Lost

I didn’t grow up with Saturday morning cartoons, amusement parks, or the demands of the American culture. I grew up riding the train every summer to build white sandcastles on the shores of Mombassa. I learned to speak Swahili in first grade. I witnessed breathtaking wildlife roam free, without bars. I grew up eating ugali and sukuma wiki. I watched my parents love people who were different from us. They moved right out of their comfort zone, across an ocean, and into a totally different lifestyle with three small children in tow.

All because of the love of Jesus.

When I was six years old, I met my best friend, Joanne.  I lived in Nairobi, Kenya. I went to a small private school about an hour away from our home. I met Jesus that year, too. I learned that He loved me so much that He gave His life so that I could be forgiven and called God’s daughter. 

All throughout elementary school, I wore a heart shaped charm on a silver chain. Three simple words in cursive letters were tucked inside the outline of the heart: Jesus Loves You. I don’t remember who gave it to me or when I received it. All I remember is that I wore it every day and that I loved Jesus very much.

The summer I turned ten, we moved back to the States. Everything was different.  Faster. Overwhelming. New Kids on the Block were really cool back then. I was a new kid, but somehow I missed “cool” entirely. Guess jeans and a JanSport backpack meant you fit in. I had neither. During PE class one day, my gym partner scrunched up her face as she read the message that hung around my neck. I didn’t realize until later that she was making fun of me. I took off my necklace that year and buried it in the bottom of my jewelry box. I quit telling people that I grew up in Africa, and I quit telling people about Jesus.

That necklace wasn’t the only thing I hid away; the part of my heart that believed Jesus loved me was covered up and forgotten as well.

This summer I started searching for the necklace I wore all those years ago. It turns out that my jewelry box was sold in a garage sale. The necklace is gone. I’ve grieved over this necklace, not so much because it was such a valuable piece of jewelry, because it wasn’t. It’s not about the necklace; it’s about what happened in those years when I tucked away God’s love just so that I would fit in and be accepted. I’ve wondered what I’ve missed out on because of that decision, or more importantly, how it has grieved the heart of God. Because I chose fitting in over being set apart, I’ve wondered if it’s just too late.  But Jesus never stopped loving me. 

It wasn’t ever about how much I loved Him; it was, and still is, solely based on how much He loves me. 

The reality is that I was accepted then, and I am accepted now. Jesus pursued me even as I rejected Him. God has done this with His people all throughout Scripture.  Joel 2:13 says this: 

Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

God is literally saying, “Tear your heart to pieces, and then return to me and let me restore it.” Maybe you’ve lost something you are certain you can never get back. Or maybe you’ve thrown something away only to realize its incredible worth. Let these words rekindle hope in your heart:

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten. Joel 2:25 

Charles Spurgeon explains it like this: 

"It will strike you at once that the locusts did not eat the years: the locusts ate the fruits of the years' labor, the harvests of the fields; so that the meaning of the restoration of the years must be the restoration of those fruits and of those harvests which the locusts consumed. You cannot have back your time; but there is a strange and wonderful way in which God can give back to you the wasted blessings, the unripened fruits of years over which you mourned. The fruits of wasted years may yet be yours." 

Wasted blessings, wasted dreams… there is nothing God can’t restore. Nothing.

This month I turned thirty-five. Two and a half decades have passed since I chose the crowd over the cross. For my birthday my husband bought me this necklace.  Gold and delicate, engraved with these words: Jesus loves you.

I’m not worthy of these words across my heart. I’m aware of what I discarded in the name of popularity. The girl who made fun of me in the gym that day needed to understand that Jesus loved her just like I needed to understand His love for me. I don’t deserve Jesus’ love. I don’t deserve anything He’s given me.  But this is the beauty of grace.  

We can never understand the grace of God without first acknowledging the love of God.

The more I understand Jesus’ love for me, the less I want to hide His love in a box. I’ve failed. Fallen short. I’ve messed up.  Yet His love for me has remained unchanged.  It’s strong and real and true. It’s unending. It holds the power to raise dead things to life. It stretches wide; it reaches deep. It will never, ever fail.  

The realization that I don’t deserve this Love compels me to cling all the more tightly to Jesus.

Rest in the truth that Jesus couldn’t possibly love you more than He loves you this very minute. He’s crazy about you.  Your love for Him has nothing to do with it. It’s a one-way love. It makes no sense, no sense at all, but there are some love stories that cannot be explained, some that hold no room for reason. They’re beautiful just because of the unlikeliness. They make our hearts race just to consider the possibility. This is that love story. And it’s true… about you. 

Jesus loves you.