This Day

Our church had a Women's conference last weekend. Jen Hatmaker was the speaker and she had an amazing message. I was sitting in the pew at the very end of the two day conference, trying to sort out all the thoughts ping-ponging in my head, trying to slow the beating heart in my chest, when everything God had been speaking to me this past month all came together at once with such clarity through the words of this beautiful and simple song.

“This Day”

This day is fragile- soon it will end

And once it has vanished, it will not come again.

So let us love with a love pure and strong

Before this day is gone.

This day is fleeting- when it slips away,

Not all our money can buy back this day

So let us pray that we might be a friend

Before this day is spent.

This day we’re given is golden.

Let us show love.

This day is ours for one moment.

Let us sow love.

This day is fragile- it will pass by.

So before it’s too late to recapture the time,

Let us share love. Let us share God.

Before this day is gone.

I tried to remember where I had heard this song before. It was strangely familiar, but I knew I had not heard it in a very long time. By the end of the first verse, I realized why this song felt like an old friend to me. It was because I had chosen it to be sung at our wedding, almost ten years ago. I can still remember standing in the back of the church, arm in arm with my dad, listening to the words of this song, anxiously awaiting a momentous change in my life.

I have to add a side note here, and explain that I was the type of bride that put way too much thought into every single aspect of this day, the kind of girl that had to have it absolutely perfect. I really and truly believed I would remember all these details for the rest of my life. Sadly, I can see now that nothing else really mattered except the commitment I made to a man in front of God, my family and friends. The love God brought between us is pretty much the only thing that has lasted these past ten years.

When I had to pick the music that would be sung at our wedding, I made it a complicated affair. It took me weeks to decide which songs should be a part of our wedding ceremony. But, just like it was yesterday, I remember why I picked this song. It was simple. It was pretty. It spoke about loving God and loving others. That is what I wanted this new life with my husband to be about.

Ten years later, having endured our share of heartache and joy, I heard this song with new ears. But the message God had for me was the same. “ Love each other. Share Me with others.” I think it was way more than coincidence that this was the closing song for this conference. I believe that through the words of this simple song, God showed me a quick glimpse of His plan for the next ten years of our marriage. And it is as simple as, “Follow Me.”

I don’t think the details really matter. He has a plan that is far beyond our understanding. Isaiah 55:8 says, “My thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways.” God has taken me here often in the past few years. If on my wedding day, standing arm in arm with my dad in the back of the church, God had revealed everything His plan for me involved, I have no doubt that I would have hiked up that dress and taken off running! My Plan for my life would have omitted all the loss, the pain, the waiting. But I would have missed out on unspeakable joy! The kind that comes when you are faced with a mountain that seems impossible to climb. It's only when I come to the very end of myself that I cling to Him and all His plan offers. His plan is so much better than anything I could ever dream up.

It is truly amazing to me how God chooses to walk beside us every step of our messy, messy lives. And every now and then, when our hearts are open and our eyes are fixed on heaven, He lets us in on His dreams for us. He wants nothing but the best for us. But more than anything He wants our hearts.

As I think about the words to this song and the simple message they carry, my heart so desperately wants the next ten years, and whatever they may include, to count for something.... to matter... to be about His plan not mine. So today I think I’ll take My Plan Book, the one I’ve worked so hard to perfect, and I’ll pitch it out the window. God’s plan is far greater, and I find peace in that.