PART 1: A Second Chance

But Jonah got up and went the other direction to Tarshish, running away from God. Jonah 1:3 (MSG)

Lately God has put a burden on my heart. He has shown me in more than one way His commandment to “love the least of these.” As I was driving to the grocery store one morning in early November last year, I asked God to show me who I could bless that day. When we pray with the Jake and Lilly at night, Cody is always saying, “Help us to be a blessing to others.” So that was my prayer that morning. What I discovered is that God took my prayer seriously.

As I reached the grocery store, I parked and began the lengthy process of loading my kids into the ridiculously-large-and-incredibly-hard-to-steer-eighteen-wheeler of a grocery cart. Then I saw them… parked next to me. A young mother and her two boys. Barefoot on a chilly morning.

 My heart started pounding in my chest. Surely God wanted me to love on them. But, not sure of what to do or say, I turned and pushed my cart into the store and began my shopping. This is part of the conversation I had with God as I later encountered them one aisle over, going through the bins of expired, marked-down food:

 “Do you want me to go up and offer to buy her groceries, God? I guess I could do that, but they don’t even have a cart. Do you want me to give her some money, God? I don’t have any cash. I could get some when I check out. Surely this is the person you want me to help today, but I can’t just go up to her and start a conversation. And I have to think about my kids. We are almost done. I have about ten more items left. The kids are doing great, but we haven’t even gotten to the cracker aisle yet. You know they lose it every time on the cracker aisle. I tell you what, God. I will just quickly grab the rest of the items on my list and maybe she will be up near the register when I am ready to pay. I’ll offer to pay for her groceries or get some cash to give her. She’s parked right next to me, so that will work just fine.”

 So instead of walking straight towards her and her boys and doing what I know God was asking of me, I turned my cart the other way and took care of my needs. Instead of relying on Him to help me say whatever it was He wanted me to say, I instead focused on what I did not have: a cart full of groceries I could offer to pay for, cash in my wallet to give them, the faintest clue as to what to say to a mother who obviously lives a very different life than me. As I grabbed the last item on my list and walked towards the checkout, I caught a glimpse of her car backing out in the parking lot. It hit me then that I had lost my chance to bless this woman. I was so ashamed that I cried the whole way home. 

 I didn’t know what to say and I was afraid she’d reject my help, so I played it safe and avoided an obvious opportunity to bless a woman God placed in my path for a reason. The worst part about it was that I was so focused on how I wanted to help her… with my credit card or my cash… that I failed to notice her true need: shoes. She needed shoes, and I had shoes to give.  Then I would have become the barefoot mother walking through the store with my kids.

I was humbled that day and begged God to give me another chance. For almost a month, I prayed that He would let me have another shot at this. And because He is a God of compassion and grace, He did. Three and a half weeks after my encounter with the barefoot mother, God led me to Sarah. 

 I would love to say that I acted immediately after my painful lesson the previous month. But, no, I did not. I saw her on my way to run a couple of quick errands. I would have had to turn my car the other way to cross paths with her. I actually told God, “If she’s still there when I get back from running these errands, then I’ll stop.” I know. I’m sure He was saying, “Really? We’re back to this?” I did not want to turn around. It was inconvenient. But I did. I figured if God put her in my path, no matter how far off the path it was, it was for a reason. So I stopped.

 She was sitting by the side of the highway in front of the LOVE’S Truck Stop. In the past, fear had convinced me to avoid this place like the plague. But, confident that this was where God wanted me and trusting that He was with me, I got out. She was waiting for a ride, and appeared to be years older than she probably was. She was smoking a cigarette when I walked up to her and said hello. I apologized that I couldn’t offer her a ride, but asked if I could give her a blanket. Through tears, I managed to ask her name. It was awkward. I am sure she was wondering who this crazy girl was and why on earth she couldn’t seem to stop crying. Or maybe she got exactly what she needed through my simple obedience. I am learning that God is the only one who knows what each of us need. Who am I to question Him? He can use anyone or anything to deliver His love to His people. Even a humbled girl who has been given a second chance.

 God spoke to Jonah a second time. This time Jonah started off straight for Nineveh, obeying God's orders to the letter. Jonah 3:1,3 (MSG)